Ugh. My name is Holly Darling, and I am a STRESS EATER. There, I admitted it. I have struggled so much in the past month to succeed with my weight loss. I was on a great roll with my weight creeping down, and it has maintained for a long time, with the exceptional 2-5 pound give or take. Now I feel I need a major motivation to help me through. I know I can lose this weight, my last 25 pounds. It seems it wants to linger on my ass and my brain is helping it stay attached. I feel good, but I know I can feel better. I need to feel better, I am now craving it. I think I need to find a "mommy" time to exercise - which is almost impossible. I know that sounds like an excuse, but seriously, I don't know where my days go. They begin and end so quickly, I need to sit down at the end of the day and literally say "what the hell just happened?"
Maybe I can blame my weight on potty training (he he). I guess I need to find something to blame it on! It has been a huge stress and I cannot wait until it's over. When you have kids, nobody tells you about the fact that they grow up. Yep, you heard it - they GROW UP! And we as parents, yes the parents, have to do potty training - what?!? Can't we ship them off to potty training camp? There's gotta be something out there....maybe....
Mason is now 6 MONTHS OLD! I am still breastfeeding him, which I love, plus I get to eat more with my wonderful nursing diet! Maybe I'm eating too much??? Nah. I love my weight watchers nursing diet, who could complain about getting 10 extra points a day!?! It's fantastic! The poor kid has his 6 month appointment on Monday morning - more shots :( I hate shots. I know he needs them and blah blah blah, but it totally sucks to look down at their innocent face, happy one moment and then freaking out the next. Ok, that was a tangaent, but I'm stressed about his appointment.
Holy crap, Halloween is creeping up on us and that means Thanksgiving and Evan's birthday are coming too. Then the Christmas holidays!!! Whoa! What happened to this year? As we get older, does each day go by faster and faster? I know I mention this a lot, but I wish I could have a remote control for life and hit pause once in a while.
I'm going to be 26 in a week. I feel I have accomplished a lot and I feel really good about it. I'll be 26, I'm happily married to my adorable husband - 5 years next June, I have 2 healthy and beautiful kiddos, I get to stay home with my sweethearts, I have a nice home, a car of my own - the SUPER FUV, a yard to play in, a tv to watch, a warm bed to crawl into at night...you get the point. Life is wonderful, and right now I feel like I'm taking it for granted. I need to relax and enjoy these moments before my kids are off to college, or having kids of their own - when they're out of college and married of course!
Maybe I need a break from trying so hard to lose weight. Maybe I need to take time for myself and concentrate on losing this weight so I feel better about myself. Maybe there's a reason that I'm struggling so much with this weight loss. What could that be? I don't know. Maybe someday I'll figure it out. Well, I should sign out now, I have stuff to do.
Now....if only I can find this potty training camp....
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Potty Training
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-
ggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
Ok, I feel better now.
ggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
Ok, I feel better now.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
My scatterbrain thoughts
My brain is in so many different directions right now. I sat in bed last night and wrote out 3 1/2 pages of mumble jumble just to get it out. I read it and I sound like an insane person! It's so tough to think straight when there's a lot going on, ya know?
My biggest accomplishment today was that I started the "potty training" with Evan. I may say that it went great. We have a good start and I hope it'll continue. I'm so proud of him! However, I cannot believe how quickly he's growing up right before my eyes. Next year, he'll be starting preschool. Where did the time go?
I look at my little Mason, and he'll be 6 months on the 19th of this month. What?!?!? Seriously, it's going by way too fast and I can hardly remember 5 months ago. Everything's going by so fast, I wish I could slow time down. I think it's really taking a toll on me, mentally and physically. These kids are wearing me out! I love them to pieces, but I feel like I'm beyond the end of my rope as far as my mentality and patience goes!
I'm considering going back to school...cosmetology? Massage Therapy? Court Reporting? There's so many options, but those are my top 3. Although, if I go back to school, what do we do with the kids? I can't take them with to classes. The court reporting program is all online and done at home at your own pace, but it takes 2 years approximately. The cosmetology program is also a long program. I haven't heard yet about the massage therapy program, but I'm hoping to find out soon. I feel like I need to do some soul searching. I keep asking myself, what do I want to be when I grow up? I still don't know. I have always known I wanted to be a Mom, but I'm starting to feel as though I need to do something for myself. We started going back to Church which has been great, and starting this past Sunday, our pastor is doing a 6 week sermon about what our dreams are. God put us on this Earth for a reason, and He gave us all a dream. I still need to figure out what my dream may be.
Among these thoughts, continues my weight loss journey. I am down about 25 pounds from when I started back at Weight Watchers 2 weeks after Mason was born. I still have about 20-25 to go. These past few days, I have been stress eating, which is so ridiculous. I know I'm doing wrong, I'm not helping my body or my health in any way by eating the way I have been, but yet I still put food in my mouth and have the nerve to actually swallow it. I need to find my path again for this weight loss. My journey MUST continue! Tomorrow's a new day and I WILL do well. I am determined to feel good again, to have energy, to feel sexy, to feel happy...who wouldn't want that? I'm craving those feelings more than I'm craving a Butterfinger, which is a good sign. Ok, back on track tomorrow! Look out world, here I come! I have no idea why I just typed that, but whatever.
I need to go to bed, have some more random crazy thoughts, maybe write them down, and then go to sleep and do it all over again tomorrow. I'll write again soon, I've been slacking in my blogging department. Ok, bye.
My biggest accomplishment today was that I started the "potty training" with Evan. I may say that it went great. We have a good start and I hope it'll continue. I'm so proud of him! However, I cannot believe how quickly he's growing up right before my eyes. Next year, he'll be starting preschool. Where did the time go?
I look at my little Mason, and he'll be 6 months on the 19th of this month. What?!?!? Seriously, it's going by way too fast and I can hardly remember 5 months ago. Everything's going by so fast, I wish I could slow time down. I think it's really taking a toll on me, mentally and physically. These kids are wearing me out! I love them to pieces, but I feel like I'm beyond the end of my rope as far as my mentality and patience goes!
I'm considering going back to school...cosmetology? Massage Therapy? Court Reporting? There's so many options, but those are my top 3. Although, if I go back to school, what do we do with the kids? I can't take them with to classes. The court reporting program is all online and done at home at your own pace, but it takes 2 years approximately. The cosmetology program is also a long program. I haven't heard yet about the massage therapy program, but I'm hoping to find out soon. I feel like I need to do some soul searching. I keep asking myself, what do I want to be when I grow up? I still don't know. I have always known I wanted to be a Mom, but I'm starting to feel as though I need to do something for myself. We started going back to Church which has been great, and starting this past Sunday, our pastor is doing a 6 week sermon about what our dreams are. God put us on this Earth for a reason, and He gave us all a dream. I still need to figure out what my dream may be.
Among these thoughts, continues my weight loss journey. I am down about 25 pounds from when I started back at Weight Watchers 2 weeks after Mason was born. I still have about 20-25 to go. These past few days, I have been stress eating, which is so ridiculous. I know I'm doing wrong, I'm not helping my body or my health in any way by eating the way I have been, but yet I still put food in my mouth and have the nerve to actually swallow it. I need to find my path again for this weight loss. My journey MUST continue! Tomorrow's a new day and I WILL do well. I am determined to feel good again, to have energy, to feel sexy, to feel happy...who wouldn't want that? I'm craving those feelings more than I'm craving a Butterfinger, which is a good sign. Ok, back on track tomorrow! Look out world, here I come! I have no idea why I just typed that, but whatever.
I need to go to bed, have some more random crazy thoughts, maybe write them down, and then go to sleep and do it all over again tomorrow. I'll write again soon, I've been slacking in my blogging department. Ok, bye.
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