My scatterbrain thoughts

My brain is in so many different directions right now. I sat in bed last night and wrote out 3 1/2 pages of mumble jumble just to get it out. I read it and I sound like an insane person! It's so tough to think straight when there's a lot going on, ya know?

My biggest accomplishment today was that I started the "potty training" with Evan. I may say that it went great. We have a good start and I hope it'll continue. I'm so proud of him! However, I cannot believe how quickly he's growing up right before my eyes. Next year, he'll be starting preschool. Where did the time go?

I look at my little Mason, and he'll be 6 months on the 19th of this month. What?!?!? Seriously, it's going by way too fast and I can hardly remember 5 months ago. Everything's going by so fast, I wish I could slow time down. I think it's really taking a toll on me, mentally and physically. These kids are wearing me out! I love them to pieces, but I feel like I'm beyond the end of my rope as far as my mentality and patience goes!

I'm considering going back to school...cosmetology? Massage Therapy? Court Reporting? There's so many options, but those are my top 3. Although, if I go back to school, what do we do with the kids? I can't take them with to classes. The court reporting program is all online and done at home at your own pace, but it takes 2 years approximately. The cosmetology program is also a long program. I haven't heard yet about the massage therapy program, but I'm hoping to find out soon. I feel like I need to do some soul searching. I keep asking myself, what do I want to be when I grow up? I still don't know. I have always known I wanted to be a Mom, but I'm starting to feel as though I need to do something for myself. We started going back to Church which has been great, and starting this past Sunday, our pastor is doing a 6 week sermon about what our dreams are. God put us on this Earth for a reason, and He gave us all a dream. I still need to figure out what my dream may be.

Among these thoughts, continues my weight loss journey. I am down about 25 pounds from when I started back at Weight Watchers 2 weeks after Mason was born. I still have about 20-25 to go. These past few days, I have been stress eating, which is so ridiculous. I know I'm doing wrong, I'm not helping my body or my health in any way by eating the way I have been, but yet I still put food in my mouth and have the nerve to actually swallow it. I need to find my path again for this weight loss. My journey MUST continue! Tomorrow's a new day and I WILL do well. I am determined to feel good again, to have energy, to feel sexy, to feel happy...who wouldn't want that? I'm craving those feelings more than I'm craving a Butterfinger, which is a good sign. Ok, back on track tomorrow! Look out world, here I come! I have no idea why I just typed that, but whatever.

I need to go to bed, have some more random crazy thoughts, maybe write them down, and then go to sleep and do it all over again tomorrow. I'll write again soon, I've been slacking in my blogging department. Ok, bye.