Good news =)

Yay! So I had the ultrasound today (I also didn't need to go to labor and delivery for a stress test...everyone was confused, but the tech called the doctor and he said to just check out baby on ultrasound). The baby looks great and super cute I might add ;). He is head down, still ALL boy, and he's about 6-7 lbs already!!! Yikes that's big. I see our doc again next Wednesday and we'll see what he says. It's getting so close...now we're just hoping and praying that I will go into natural labor and not be put on pitocin...ick. I'm just so happy that everything looks good - at least so far! Yippee!

Dr Appt Update

I had my 35 week appointment today and everything is seeming to check out fine...so far! The baby's heartbeat is around 140, my blood pressure is good, but I'm measuring 38 weeks...so a bit big! The doctor scheduled an ultrasound for me for tomorrow to check the weight on the baby and the baby's position. I also have to go up to labor and delivery and have a stress test done (??), I'm not really sure why because the doctor actually didn't say anything about it. The scheduler did when I scheduled the ultrasound...so I probably don't even need to go up there for the stress test, but whatever. I'm confused. I guess we shall see tomorrow. I'm very nervous for the ultrasound, I know we're just checking the size and position, but I'm nervous if they find anything that could be wrong. I worry too much, I know. Hopefully everything will be ok. I'll have to have the tech check to make sure the baby is still a boy...I've had 2 dreams where the baby was a girl! Not like it would change, but you never know! Wouldn't that be quite the surprise?! Hopefully I'll be able to update tomorrow... :-) Wish me luck!

Life

Happy belated Memorial Day! We had a very nice weekend. We spent 2 nights and 3 days at the cabin, and it was very enjoyable. The kids had a great time, Mason caught his first bass - which was pretty big, we had a bonfire, survived the severe thunderstorms that came our way, had a boat ride, spent time with family and all in all had a nice time. On our way home, we even stopped at a off leash dog park and let Maverick run for a while - oh my how he loved that!

We were welcomed home with talking to the neighbors, who also all survived the long weekend and had nice times. When we got into the house and settled back into reality, we learned that a fellow classmate of Brian's passed away on Friday night. He was 28 years old. I remember him from high school and how he was such a nice and genuine guy. My heart, thoughts and prayers go out to his family and loved ones. My thoughts and prayers also go out to everyone affected by the horrible storms that passed through this beautiful state.

On our way home from the cabin, we ironically were starting that dreaded conversation...about what will happen when/if one of us passes away. We didn't get very far into the conversation, but we know it's something that needs to be discussed. As hard as it is. Life goes by way too fast, and you never know what each day will bring. It seems everybody stresses so much, and races the clock to get 'things' done...when not enough people stop to actually smell the roses and enjoy the moment that we're in now. I know I'm one of those people, but I'm starting to re-teach myself that I have to take every day as it's handed to me and be thankful for everything that I have.

Speaking of...poor Mason this morning woke up sick. He came upstairs seeming ok, but got up at 9:35am (which is a little late for him). He wanted a yogurt, so I got one for him and we did our 'yogurt routine' of me feeding it to him on the couch (it makes it more fun for him and he actually eats it). All of a sudden, he let out a huge burp and threw up a little. He's been kind of stuffy in the mornings, so I thought - oh maybe he's just got some gunk in his throat and it made him gag. Well, he didn't want anymore yogurt - who could blame him. So I cleaned him up and he just sat on the couch and seemed to be pretty lethargic. An hour passed, and he said he was hungry and wanted kix. So, the funny little guy ate 3 baggies of kix (another fun way to get him to eat). He seemed to feel better...I know he's been hungry, he didn't eat dinner last night and we refuse to give him junk food all the time - so he didn't really eat much last night, so he was hungry. Then it was nap time and he seemed pretty tired, so I got him to sleep and I'm only hoping he'll wake up feeling and looking better! Poor little guy. I am really hoping it's just him and nobody else ends up getting anything...that would so not be good. Especially right now! Being 8 months pregnant and getting sick...wouldn't that almost guarantee an earlier delivery?! Oh well, what do you do. Like I said before, you gotta take life as it's handed to you, and I guess right now, I'm being handed some challenges.

We have a fairly busy day tomorrow...well at least I do. Brian is actually staying home for the day - bless his heart! I have a dentist appointment in the morning and my next OB appointment which is at 12noon. Then we have Evan's conferences at 5:45pm. I'm curious to see what my doc will say this time. I hope my blood pressure's ok...although I'm sure it's higher than normal again. I also am hoping he can maybe tell if the baby is head down - I've been feeling hiccups and sometimes they feel like they're in my ribs...not really where I want his head to be! I know there's still plenty of time, but it's getting closer and closer to the end and there's just things I hope for!

I should probably go, this is a huge post. I guess I had a lot to talk about!

Yet another thing...

So I fell today. Off our front patio. I cranked the crap out of my right foot, ended up going to the Doctor and learned that I pulled every muscle in the top of my foot and the front of my ankle. I can't put pressure on it because it hurts so bad. So I'm on crutches. 8 months pregnant and on crutches. It's quite glamorous. This is SO not what I need right now...oh well. Hopefully I'll feel better in a couple days. Figures.

A little better...maybe?

So I'm feeling a bit better today, especially after writing about how I feel the other day. I'm still in a funk, but I'm hoping it'll get better. It seems every little thing just keeps bringing me down lately. I had my doctor's appointment today and my blood pressure was up. I am normally borderline low, so when it's slightly elevated they always express great concern. The doc wanted to see me in 3 weeks, but now he wants to see me in 2. Which is fine, it's just hard to get help with the boys, because I cannot handle them alone in the doctor's office right now. I could if I had to, but if I can get help I'm going to. I'm sure my hubby will be able to help me out, like he always does :) Poor guy, still suffering so much from this ridiculous headache. I was talking with a very close friend yesterday, and she asked if we've ever thought about trying to go to Mayo Clinic. So I spent some time on the computer last night looking at their website, and requesting an appointment online. They called my hubby this morning and said for neurological stuff he needs a referral. So he called our clinic and we're still waiting for a return call. So now the frustrating part...waiting and more waiting. I honestly don't think our Doctor's understand quite what he has gone through. He is almost out of the pain meds right now that 'somewhat' take the edge off and there's no refill. There are no appointments set up. Trying to call these places and getting him in is almost a joke. It feels like we're pulling teeth to get help and we shouldn't have to. Maybe we'll have to call this natural healing lady who does weird things with oils and stuff. Maybe I'll try to work on that one tomorrow. What else can we do? I am completely burnt out, I know Brian's burnt out...which obviously doesn't help anything. We better start making a lot of lemonade soon...because we've got plenty of lemons!

Also, we completely forgot that tonight was the 'waiting list' registration for soccer for Evan for the summer. Duh. We were on our way to my parents house to help with some landscaping stuff, and it hit me, 'oh crap, we gotta sign Evan up within the next 15 minutes'. So we hauled butt back to Cottage Grove and couldn't find the building where we were supposed to register him. So after giving up, we came up and looked it up online. We ended up calling the secretary and she said that we can go to her house tomorrow night and register him then...I am so thankful for that. We know it's something that Evan will absolutely love and we are trying so hard to get him into everything we can for his socialization. He is so shy and we would love for him to just go out and have fun. So we're trying. Let's hope that we remember to go to this lady's house tomorrow and get him signed up finally. He is also in t-ball this summer - but only for the month of June. It's called wee-tee's and every Saturday in June, the kids learn about the game of t-ball. They have a different station they learn about every weekend. We are super excited for that. Uncle Scott and Auntie Betsy got Mason a t-ball set for Christmas and the boys absolutely love it, it's one of their favorite outside toys right now. It's so cute to watch them smack the balls and run after the balls...too fun. Aahhh, to be a kid again.

Well, hopefully my 'funk' will heal, and hopefully Brian's headache will heal. I don't know about my 'funk' though, I'm really struggling lately. On my way home today from the doctor's office I bawled almost the entire way home. Why? I don't know. I think everything is just becoming too much. Oh well...I just have to take life as it's handed to me one day at a time.

Sad

You ever just have a 'sad' day? A day where you wish things could be different, or better? A day where you hope for certain things and it just comes crashing down when you realize it's never going to happen, and completely breaks your heart? A day where you have no control over your tears, and your kids look at you in concern and ask why you're sad? A day where you just feel broken and it's going to take a miracle to feel better?

I try so hard not to complain about things, and what I do every day. I try to keep everyone at peace and happy. I try not to cry. I try not to be scared. I try. I think things can just become overwhelming. That's life. Right? I tell myself every day, 'God will not give me anything I cannot handle'. It helps, but sometimes I feel like I just can't handle it. I'm exhausted. Completely exhausted.

It would be nice to receive a hug. A meaningful hug. To be held and told that everything will be ok. To have my tears wiped away and feel that it's ok to cry. I would love to have my hand held when I'm scared. I would love to have softer kleenexes to blow my nose and wipe my tears, but I don't feel I deserve it. I would love to not be in physical pain from this pregnancy. I would love to be not scared about delivering this baby. I would love to be able to sit and enjoy the birds outside. I would love to go for a walk, but I hurt too much.

Things I need to remember, are that I'm so thankful that I'm able to be home. I'm thankful that my kids are healthy. I'm thankful for the nursing staff at Woodwinds to reassure me that everything is ok after my visit yesterday. I'm thankful everything is ok. I'm thankful I have the ability to do things others can't. I'm thankful that every night I can sleep next to the person I couldn't live my life without. I'm thankful I have boys, they sure do keep me on my toes. I have to remember these good things in my life. Some days can be difficult, but I really have no reason to complain. Although, I am only human and sometimes people just need to complain. And cry.