11 Years

For the past 11 years, I have spent my life with my soulmate. 11 years ago today marks the anniversary of us becoming an official couple. I remember those first feelings of being together like they were yesterday. The excitement, the butterflies, the anxiety of living every day with anticipation of what's going to happen next. 11 years later, here we are. Happily married in a wonderful home with 2 beautiful and healthy children.

I was just 15 when we met. He was 16. It's so fun to look back and remember those times. I remember the first time we "met", the first time we held hands, the first time we kissed. I remember when he asked me "out". I remember falling crazy in love. I remember when he would be "on his way" to pick me up, I would sit at my window in my bedroom and watch for his car to turn down our street and pull into our driveway. I remember watching him walk up to our front door and I would greet him, always with a smile and he would shine a smile in return. I remember going on dates, hanging out at my parents house, him leaving at 12:47am every night to make 1am curfew. I remember being in school together, he would always walk me to class and meet me in the halls afterwards. I remember his graduation and how sad I was when he was going to be gone and starting college. I remember my graduation and how excited I was to have more freedom to see him. I remember the night he asked me to marry him. I remember all the times we spent together in his dorm and his apartment at college. I remember his college graduation and how proud I was of him, and how I still am proud of him. I remember our wedding day. I remember when we moved into our house in Cottage Grove. I remember the day we had Evan and the day we had Mason. I remember this morning when there was a ring at my door, and it was 4 dozen roses. He remembers too.

I love him. I love being with him. I love knowing that he's my husband and the father to our children. I love knowing that we can spend each and every day together in the comfort of each other's company. I love knowing that I get to sleep next to him every night. I love the excitement, the butterflies and the anxiety of living every day in anticipation of what's going to happen next. He is my soulmate, my best friend and my husband.

I want to send a special thank you to my cousin for setting us up when I was 15. She's the one responsible for making me the happy person I am today. Thank you!!! :)

Crazy Cat

The weirdest thing happened earlier today. Zoe and Tucker, our cats, were running around playing and spying on each other...you know, they typical pounce and paw at each other attacks cats do. Well, they were in the kitchen, Tucker was under the highchair and Zoe was standing next to the dining room table. All of a sudden, her back arched, in a playful manner, and she slid across the floor. Literally slid, it was almost like someone was dragging her forward. Then she took off and Tucker took off after her. It was very creepy and I have no idea how she accomplished sliding like that. She slid for about a foot. So weird. Maybe she has magical powers...

King of the Throne

We are now 9 days and no accidents with Evan! It has been so wonderful! Go Evan!!!

One thing that cracks us up though, is that he is now obsessed with going poo. Every time he needs to use the bathroom, he states "Evan try to poop too", and he does. Ok, keep in mind that he uses the bathroom about 10 + times a day. Is this normal??? I don't know. But he normally does poo every time. It's amazing how much he can go, I don't really understand the whole concept of pooping approximately 10 times a day. How can that little almost 3 year old body do that? I guess we'll have to change his nickname from Monkey to Sir-Poops-Alot.

Update on weight - I am now down a little over 25 pounds! Woohoo!!! Now I just have to keep losing and keep it off! I'm going to be a part of 2 weddings next year, February and May, so I really need to lose this weight! Actually, I went bridesmaid dress shopping on Saturday and I bought a dress in the size that I need to get too - now if that isn't motivation, I don't know what is! It'll fit, I'm not worried, but I really need to bust butt working out since the dress is a strapless dress. It's absolutely gorgeous and I'm so excited about it! Hmmmm, now I need to get through the holidays! Yikes!

Well that's about it for today, nothing else too overly exciting going on. Oh, except that we're having pork chops for dinner tonight.....mmmmmm....pork chops.....

Brian and I went to O'Malley's Irish Pub in Woodbury last night for a great night of Karaoke! Our good friend Dennis is the KJ there and it is a BLAST!!! We drank, well I just had a diet coke - but still, we sang and had a wonderful time! It was so fun to go out together, we need to do that more! It was really weird to go out on a week night, bless you Mom! Fun times, fun times!

Well, we are now 4 days with no accidents! Evan is doing so great with using the toilet now, it's been so worth the effort! Yay Evan!!!

On my weight loss update - I am down 3 pounds from Monday! Woohoo!!! Tracking my points has been difficult, but I can already tell it's getting easier. Seeing that weight loss on the scale really helped motivate me...I think I really needed that! I bought some new jeans a while ago and I cannot wait to get into them! Hopefully it'll be soon.

Well I should sign out now, I'm tired and have laundry going and mommy stuff to do! I wish I could lay down and take a nap for a while! Maybe I could...watching a couple episodes of Caillou wouldn't be that....would it?!?

I think he gets it!

As we've been struggling with potty and poopy training, I think Evan has finally gotten it. It has been such a long and grueling past couple months, but it's so worth it! NO MORE DIAPERS!!! What a money saver! Woohoo!!! HE GETS IT!!!

With Evan expressing his new adventures of being independent, I am now starting to ween Mason. Not totally by choice, which sucks. Although, I feel bad because I enjoy it and I know Mason does too. But I know I will feel good when I'm done...a little bit more freedom for myself! Now when I go to Applebee's I can get my strawberry perfect margarita with dinner which I'm excited about. I figure when I'm done, I'll have nursed him for about 7 months. We tried rice cerael with him a few nights ago, and he hated it. He gagged and gagged. The poor kid. So we thought we'd add flavor to it by adding vegetables....more gagging. I don't quite think he's ready for the whole food experience yet. He's getting closer and closer to crawling, he gets up on all 4's and rocks away. Other than that, he's carpet swimming and he can roll and scoot himself anywhere he wants to be. He's such a happy kid, except for when Brian and I want to go out on a date and he screams for the babysitter.....poor Chad and Amy, Grandma, Scott - and whoever else he has screamed and cried for. I'm sorry. I really am truly sorry. Maybe that'll change once he's exclusively on bottles. We'll see.

I went to my Weight Watchers weigh-in last night (couldn't go to the meeting because I had Mason in toe) and I gained about 2 pounds. Oops. I am now back on track today on the regular points system, no more nursing mom's program (yikes). So I no longer have my 10 extra daily points. I hope I can do this. I am hungry and I am trying so hard. I CAN do this, I just have to be good for a couple days and then I'll get right back on track with no problems. This starting part is the hardest. Ok, enough rambling. More to come later -I'll try and be better about blogging, I usually always have something to share!

Peace out!

I have no idea why I just typed that. Oh well. I suppose.....

We survived Halloween! Yay!!! Only approximately 10 little candy bars made it to my belly, so that's not too bad...at least I think it's not too bad! Trick-or-treating was a blast! Evan got to go with his 2 cousins, and his little brother slept in the stroller most of the time. It was so much fun to watch him actually understanding it this year - going house to house, ringing the door bell, saying trick-or-treat and getting candy. It brought back so many memories of being a kid! I always remember how much fun it was to go out...and cold! The poor kiddos were so cold, I felt so bad! Evan was so cold he could hardly speak. I didn't realize how cold it actually was until we came in and my hands went numb!

Our haunted house was great this year! Brian estimated that we had approximately 225 kids, well I should say people since adults like our haunted house too! Our haunted house keeps growing every year and getting better and better. It was really great this year with our butcher room, coffin, bridge, chainsaw attacks, the scary clown - thank you Scott -, and also thank you to everyone else who participated in our haunting fun - it was wonderful and the costumes were fantastic! Very scary and very fun! It's such a hectic couple days preparing our haunted house that consumes our driveway and garage, but it's so much fun and I love when everyone comes over and we can go trick-or-treating together - mommy's jobs - and hang out back at the house, eating food and candy and letting the kids play! They had a blast!

Happy November! Wow, what?!? I can't believe it's November. How nuts is that. Well I should sign out, I have cookies to bake for a bake sale at church, kids to take care of, cartoons to watch, books to read, cleaning up our leftover Halloween *stuff*, make an attempt at getting a shower in today, changing diapers, taking Evan to the potty, taking care of our dog - whose I'm sure tummy is upset from treats yesterday, try to avoid our leftover Halloween candy, eat healthy today - back on track, do the dishes, organize the toy chest, make the bed, wash Evan's sheets, do more laundry, clean the kitchen...I guess I have my day taken care of! Have a good day and thanks again to everyone who helped with our haunted house and came over! I really enjoy the company!

My Weight Loss Journey

Ugh. My name is Holly Darling, and I am a STRESS EATER. There, I admitted it. I have struggled so much in the past month to succeed with my weight loss. I was on a great roll with my weight creeping down, and it has maintained for a long time, with the exceptional 2-5 pound give or take. Now I feel I need a major motivation to help me through. I know I can lose this weight, my last 25 pounds. It seems it wants to linger on my ass and my brain is helping it stay attached. I feel good, but I know I can feel better. I need to feel better, I am now craving it. I think I need to find a "mommy" time to exercise - which is almost impossible. I know that sounds like an excuse, but seriously, I don't know where my days go. They begin and end so quickly, I need to sit down at the end of the day and literally say "what the hell just happened?"

Maybe I can blame my weight on potty training (he he). I guess I need to find something to blame it on! It has been a huge stress and I cannot wait until it's over. When you have kids, nobody tells you about the fact that they grow up. Yep, you heard it - they GROW UP! And we as parents, yes the parents, have to do potty training - what?!? Can't we ship them off to potty training camp? There's gotta be something out there....maybe....

Mason is now 6 MONTHS OLD! I am still breastfeeding him, which I love, plus I get to eat more with my wonderful nursing diet! Maybe I'm eating too much??? Nah. I love my weight watchers nursing diet, who could complain about getting 10 extra points a day!?! It's fantastic! The poor kid has his 6 month appointment on Monday morning - more shots :( I hate shots. I know he needs them and blah blah blah, but it totally sucks to look down at their innocent face, happy one moment and then freaking out the next. Ok, that was a tangaent, but I'm stressed about his appointment.

Holy crap, Halloween is creeping up on us and that means Thanksgiving and Evan's birthday are coming too. Then the Christmas holidays!!! Whoa! What happened to this year? As we get older, does each day go by faster and faster? I know I mention this a lot, but I wish I could have a remote control for life and hit pause once in a while.

I'm going to be 26 in a week. I feel I have accomplished a lot and I feel really good about it. I'll be 26, I'm happily married to my adorable husband - 5 years next June, I have 2 healthy and beautiful kiddos, I get to stay home with my sweethearts, I have a nice home, a car of my own - the SUPER FUV, a yard to play in, a tv to watch, a warm bed to crawl into at night...you get the point. Life is wonderful, and right now I feel like I'm taking it for granted. I need to relax and enjoy these moments before my kids are off to college, or having kids of their own - when they're out of college and married of course!

Maybe I need a break from trying so hard to lose weight. Maybe I need to take time for myself and concentrate on losing this weight so I feel better about myself. Maybe there's a reason that I'm struggling so much with this weight loss. What could that be? I don't know. Maybe someday I'll figure it out. Well, I should sign out now, I have stuff to do.

Now....if only I can find this potty training camp....

Potty Training

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-
ggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

Ok, I feel better now.

My scatterbrain thoughts

My brain is in so many different directions right now. I sat in bed last night and wrote out 3 1/2 pages of mumble jumble just to get it out. I read it and I sound like an insane person! It's so tough to think straight when there's a lot going on, ya know?

My biggest accomplishment today was that I started the "potty training" with Evan. I may say that it went great. We have a good start and I hope it'll continue. I'm so proud of him! However, I cannot believe how quickly he's growing up right before my eyes. Next year, he'll be starting preschool. Where did the time go?

I look at my little Mason, and he'll be 6 months on the 19th of this month. What?!?!? Seriously, it's going by way too fast and I can hardly remember 5 months ago. Everything's going by so fast, I wish I could slow time down. I think it's really taking a toll on me, mentally and physically. These kids are wearing me out! I love them to pieces, but I feel like I'm beyond the end of my rope as far as my mentality and patience goes!

I'm considering going back to school...cosmetology? Massage Therapy? Court Reporting? There's so many options, but those are my top 3. Although, if I go back to school, what do we do with the kids? I can't take them with to classes. The court reporting program is all online and done at home at your own pace, but it takes 2 years approximately. The cosmetology program is also a long program. I haven't heard yet about the massage therapy program, but I'm hoping to find out soon. I feel like I need to do some soul searching. I keep asking myself, what do I want to be when I grow up? I still don't know. I have always known I wanted to be a Mom, but I'm starting to feel as though I need to do something for myself. We started going back to Church which has been great, and starting this past Sunday, our pastor is doing a 6 week sermon about what our dreams are. God put us on this Earth for a reason, and He gave us all a dream. I still need to figure out what my dream may be.

Among these thoughts, continues my weight loss journey. I am down about 25 pounds from when I started back at Weight Watchers 2 weeks after Mason was born. I still have about 20-25 to go. These past few days, I have been stress eating, which is so ridiculous. I know I'm doing wrong, I'm not helping my body or my health in any way by eating the way I have been, but yet I still put food in my mouth and have the nerve to actually swallow it. I need to find my path again for this weight loss. My journey MUST continue! Tomorrow's a new day and I WILL do well. I am determined to feel good again, to have energy, to feel sexy, to feel happy...who wouldn't want that? I'm craving those feelings more than I'm craving a Butterfinger, which is a good sign. Ok, back on track tomorrow! Look out world, here I come! I have no idea why I just typed that, but whatever.

I need to go to bed, have some more random crazy thoughts, maybe write them down, and then go to sleep and do it all over again tomorrow. I'll write again soon, I've been slacking in my blogging department. Ok, bye.

I thought I'd write something, since I haven't blogged in awhile. I don't have much to say...I guess. Hmmmm.....

The weather's been cool. It's cooling down, so that's nice. I like the cool weather. I like to dress in warm clothes. In summer when it's hot, you can only be so naked (at least in public).

Oh!

Mason's five months old today. Where the heck did that time go? He is so happy, he smiles all the time and now he loves to laugh. Evan can make him crack up by roaring at him. He's a lug and we are all loving him to pieces. I'm still his dairy diva which is going great. I just wish, with being a dairy diva, that it was more publicly accepted. It's one of those things that is so overly encouraged, yet so frowned upon. I don't get it. I will admit that I am not the type of person to whip booby out in the middle of public, but it would be nice to know that it was at least accepted. There's too much controversy about the whole thing...it's ridiculous. Oh well!

I feel like going out to a movie. Anyone see anything good lately? I like the romantic comedies, or just comedies are great too. I haven't been to a movie in such a long time. I love going into the semi-dark theater and finding a comfy seat to cuddle next to my hubby. I love the smell of over-buttered popcorn and the sticky floors. I love getting candy and pop. I think I need to go to a movie.

Okie doke, enough putterin' around here. I better go. Bye for now.

Mommy Moments

So I took a voyage out with the kids on Tuesday evening to the ever so enjoyable Target. It went really well....I was getting our dog some treats in the "dog treat" aisle, and Mason decides to let loose. Really let loose. His fluff was so long and so loud, I couldn't help but laugh. Evan was in the seat in the front of the cart and Mason was in his car seat in the main part of the cart. Evan looked back at Mason with complete admiration, turned around, looked at me and said "ooohh, Mason big tooted!" Of course, we were not alone in the "dog treat" aisle. There was another lady standing there, and she looked at me with a funny grin and stated "wow, he must feel better!". I sure was hoping he did, however, his fluffing did not end there. He continued on with the passing of his extreme gas, which I am not kidding you, was so dang loud! After about 5 minutes of off and on gas passing, he decided to finally "fill" his drawers. I looked down at him and I asked him in a mommy way "what did you just do?!?". He replied with a grin and a giggle.

Yesterday Evan was in his high chair eating lunch, which he actually ate really well. It only took an hour and half (ha ha). He had a jelly sandwich, fruit, and some doritos. Well he was an absolute mess, so I decided to take him out of his highchair and scrub him down in the kitchen sink. Since he is not tall enough (yet) to reach the kitchen sink, I balanced him on my knee and on the edge of the counter (which we usually do) and started washing his hands and arms. Within seconds, the poor kid let out in a very strained tone of pain "tummmmmmyyyyyy siiiicccckkkk!!!" I had realized he was balancing himself with his tummy on the edge of the counter. Oops. I felt terrible, I let him down and we finished our washing in the bathroom sink.

These are just a couple of the many mommy moments I enjoy each day. I just thought these ones were kind of funny, so I thought I'd share.

9/11

Today marks the 5th anniversary. I cannot believe it's been 5 years. I still remember exactly what I was doing that day and where I was. It sends chills through me to think about it. I remember all I could think about was my family and friends and how badly I wanted to be in the same room as them. I remember the absolute shock of everything and not knowing how to respond to anything. I remember going out in public during that week and how everyone stared at each other, and it seemed every human being had a certain fear in their eyes and that all they wanted was protection. For all the people that have been affected, you are in my thoughts and prayers today, and everyday.

So I went for a walk this morning with kids and dog in toe. What the hell was I thinking??? Note to self: Do NOT take the dog with when I go on a walk with the kids!!! The kids did great, Evan loves walks and it seems that sleepy head Mason enjoyed his ride as well. Poor Maverick. He always does his duty business in the same place on every walk. So of course, we approach "the place" and he does his business. I get my baggy ready and do the ever so wonderful poo pick up. It did not go well. The poo decided to get on the outside of my baggy, so luckily I had another baggy and attempted to put it in the other baggy. I ended up making more of a mess. Poo had snuckily gotten onto the other bag and onto my fingers - ick, ick, ick!!! I was so disturbed I considered calling the walk quits and heading home. Plus it did not help that the sun was cooking and I was sweating like crazy. But I took a deep breath, and I decided I needed this walk as much as the dog did and the kids, so I kept plugging along. The rest of the walk went great.

Sad news keeps running through my head, Steve Irwin *i.e. The Crocodile Hunter, passed away from a freak accident. His show was crazy and I sometimes enjoyed watching it. Hubby and I used to watch him all the time, and we are both sad to hear of his passing. His family will be in our thoughts.

Well I should go, I need to baste the turkey...yes, I am actually cooking a turkey...on a Tuesday...whatever, right? And my big kid is waking up. More to come later....

Everything's Under Control

It's 10:24pm, the kids are finally in bed. It's been a long and tiring day. Hubby was up late last night, very sick. He didn't go to bed until 4am this morning - he slept downstairs. Poor guy.

Last night was a late night for me as well, but not as bad as for hubby. I climbed into bed at 1am. I am nursing my youngest kiddo and he typically sleeps through the night, so I wake up to do the famous "pump" at 3am (which turned into 3:45am this morning). At 4:40am, the little one's monitor started to squak and squeak, from what I understood at the time, little one's awoken. Since I just finished "pumping", I make a bottle, change his diaper, feed him and put him back to bed at 5:15am, yay...got the situation under control. I awoke to the sounds of Evan singing "Old McDonald had a farm...e..i...e...i...ooo, at 7:40 this morning. I managed to roll out of bed and retrieve my eldest offspring. We climbed the stairs and my youngest offspring started to cry. Daddy was still not well, so he slept. Evan and I approached the nursery with crying baby and got the situation under control. Both children are hungry at the same time...of course. Once again, got the situation taken care of and under control.

Then...surprisingly, I hear Daddy climbing the stairs. I was a bit nervous anticipating his arrival at the top of the staircase, thinking he'd still be miserable. I was shocked, he looked great, just a bit tired. 11am, the doorbell rings. The ADT guy is here to complete installation of our new security system (finally)...and it's under control.

12:00noon, we decide to take the entire family to a trip to the Home Depot. I drove, once again, to rescue my drained sanity. We arrive and the place is stupidly busy. We manage to look at what we came for, and left empty handed. However, we will have memories of our Home Depot visit on September 2nd - cranky children, poopy little one, tantruming big one (received time out during Home Depot visit), and a cranky Momma. Daddy handled the situation and got it under control.

We safely make it home, dealt with more issues of our non-eating, spastic 2 1/2 year old. Got kiddos down to nap (yaaaayyyy!!!). I decided I needed to go to Target for the ever so popular diaper run. Once again, it's stupidly busy. I made it home safe, with diapers and other miscellaneous wonderful Target items....and life is under control.

We had company tonight and it was great. Except for the fact that I was a major funk. I felt as though I was having an out of body experience, possibly resulting from exhaustion. Things seemed in slow motion and I was moving at an incredible "slow" rate of speed. I managed, got through the evening, and now everything is under control.

As I sit here and relax typing away, I look back at my day and realize how lucky and blessed I am, as I always do. I am anxious to go to bed and get some sleep tonight, where I can comfortably sleep with my husband next to me. It's so strange to go to bed without him there, it feels as though there's a void...something major missing, and I do not sleep well. Thank goodness he's feeling better tonight, I need to feel safe, secure and taken care of. Even though he was just downstairs last night, I felt I had to take on all responsibility of our home, worrying about every creek and crack the house made, worrying about him, the kids, the dog, the cats...I'm sure you get the point. Now I'm going to close my blog here, go to bed with my husband next to me feeling safe, secure and taken care of, and wake up tomorrow to start another day of un-anticipated activity, I'm sure....and everything will be under control.

God bless and good night.

Through a child's eyes...

We recently took an adventure to the Great Minnesota Get Together. It was fantastic! I was so motivated by watching everything through my child's eyes. It was so amazing to see him so fascinated by so much. He immediately spotted the big slide and knew that he just had to go on it. so of course, we paid our $2 and took the fun ride down. He ate an entire piece of pizza the size of Texas which amazed both hubby and I. He took his first adventurous ride on the carousel, a "choo-choo" train and the bumper boats. I had a hard time with the bumper boats...emotionally. Every time I see him do something by himself I choke up. Sometimes I think it's really hard to watch him grow up, but I absolutely love it. He amazes me each and every day, I just wish that sometimes time would slow down.

Our little adventurous one also had a blast...at least I think so. He did not sleep at all until we were about ready to leave and I carried him as he fell asleep in my arms. He also had an adventurous ride when Daddy carried him in the "front carrier thing", and he wore a hat. Too cute??? Yeah, I think so. Even watching everything through his eyes was amazing. He hardly blinked.

We left late, about 10:45pm and we were all exhausted. The car ride home was relatively quiet, big kiddo was having a hard time snacking on his cheerios and kix - they were "stuck" in the ziploc baggy. What's a kid to do? Tantrum. Poor Daddy dealt with him very well knowing he was tired and past his limit. I got to drive, I love to drive. It's my escape from the kids, even through they're right behind me safely in their car seats. Driving...my rescued sanity...but that's a whole other blog.

More to come....be prepared.